So I had my 4th breast exam in 2 months today. I'm happy to say it will be the final one for a while. I finally went to a wonderful specialist and we did an ultrasound on a couple of different areas that she had some questions about.

The ultrasound showed that the areas of concern were very simply normal fatty deposits that were inside the breast tissue. These fatty deposits were thicker in these areas than in the rest of the tissue, however since a breast is pretty much made of tissue, fat and glands this is not a bad thing.

This is a huge load off my mind. Some of the tension is still working on leaking away, but most is already gone. Dr. S was a wonderful doctor too, and what makes me feel even better is that she says from now on I don't have to go to 3 exams before seeing her. If I can do my own checks and I notice areas that feel like frozen peas (she says broccoli is okay, but frozen peas get checked) I can just go right in and see her and get the ultrasound right away. This really makes me feel better. I have no intension of ever taking her up on this offer if I don't have to, and I won't run in for any little thing, but if something really worries me I'm really happy to know I can find out what it is right away.

So thats it on this issue. Thank goodness its over!!!

Props to Planned Parenthood for this one!! I have to say this is awesome! I really wish it was true. *sighs*

The White House's Irresponsible Choices

But I do have to comment on two things.

1. April Fools is prolly the best marketing technique there is. This type of thing totally grabs my attention. Without this one I may not have ever known about this issue.

2. What is with this administration just doing whatever it wants? And I think there are too many issues that aren't getting notice. Everyone is so hyped up over the 9/11 trials that we have heard almost nothing about the gay marriage amendment. And I for one had no idea about the "abstinence-only" initiative.

Maybe I haven't been trying hard enough to get informed, but then there are a lot of americans a lot less informed than I am.

I have already signed up online to help with the Kerry campaign, I don't know what I will do yet (not door to door or calls since I just can't mentally justify those things), but I'm going to do my part.

Kevin has great ideas for ways to inform the nation, I think I'm going to have to come up with my ideas as well. I really can't take this.

I want to live in the country in that spoof article, not the one I'm currently in.

My doctors appointment went fine. The lump has not changed so I have been referred to see a specialist and most likely get an ultrasound done to try and find out what this is.

Some amount of immediate stress is gone, at least in the anticipation stress I was feeling in going to the doctor today. However I'm still stuck in that trap of everything being unknown and some part of me not really wanting to know (that whole no news can't be bad news syndrome).

Anyway, thats the update and the saga goes on. Its a happy Nym (my kitty) day though, she is keeping me company while Kevin works his little tush off!!

Tonight I took my first intermediate class at St. Stephen's Green Ceili dancing. It was fun, confusing but fun and I'm feeling good about my dancing progress. It was a good dancing evening though I didn't take too many pictures. Kevin was able to come for a little bit. I really do miss dancing with him; he has been too busy the last few weeks to go dancing much. Overall a good night!

Home now winding down from the evening. Weighing heavily on my mind right now is tomorrows doctors appointment. This will be my third breast exam in less than two months (if you don't know the story you can read it here).

I'm not sure what I think or feel about any of this anymore. Its not the worst it could be, it might be nothing, or something mild which could still call for removal. Who knows at this point, all that I do know is that I'm a ball of nerves. Not knowing is killing me as much as the possibility of knowing. Weird I know - but true. Anyway, tomorrow I see the doc again and we will see what happens.

I have to note how thankful I am for Kevin. When I spaz-out about one thing when this is really what bothers me, he figure it out and forgives me and holds me. He's also going with me tomorrow, he will mostly just be waiting for me, but just knowing a friendly face will be there after is one less worry.

In any case thank you to everyone who helped me learn new dances tonight; And wish me luck tomorrow.

This seems to be the topic of day in blogs I read. And its important so I feel the need to comment.

I am Pro-Choice because no one should be able to tell me what I can and can't do with my body. But besides that different situations call for different actions.

For example my friend DM recently made a post in her live journal about 3 women she knows (I know two of them); this is the short version of her post, but her long version is so so worth reading.

Woman 1: Recently had a baby at age 20. Is a very strict believer of all catholic practices and so never gave a thought to abortion. She dropped out of college, her parents took out a second mortgage. Her husband to be owns his own mortgage company and barely makes any money, so she and the baby are on welfare. She had planned to go back to school in a year, but it doesn’t' look like it will be possible till the baby is in school, if then. They are planning to be married in May, but he makes excuses to say at work and she plays the house wife but sneaks in a drink here and there. And this poor baby though she has parents who love her also has parents who resent the life they are now forced to live.

Woman 2: Had a child who is the joy of her life. Her second child is being induced tomorrow and everyone is excited and happy. Her first child is healthy and happy. They may not be a perfect family, but it’s a good life.

Woman 3: Recently had an abortion. It was a hard decision and against her catholic upbringing; however she and her boyfriend discussed it rationally and decided it was the best thing. They didn’t believe it was something they were mentally or emotionally prepared to deal with. However she can never tell her mother because she would never have approved. She knows it was the right decision for her to make, but it was a very very hard one. She went through the procedure quite well and is going to be quite healthy.

Three women, three circumstances. Whether they made the right decisions can't really be judged. I don't think woman 1 did, but that is my point of view and may not be right. The point is that these three women are examples of the right to choose that they have as US citizens.

Blacksheep also posted today about abortion; this time about laws. The senate has now ruled to recognize "a fetus as a separate victim in cases involving pregnant women". This may not be a ruling to outlaw abortion but this will be used in cases to support the outlawing of abortion.

Abortion isn't right for everyone, but we live in a country that was created so its people could choose what they want to believe and practice. This should count for our bodies as well as our minds.

I'm warning you now... this is a rant... just warning you!!!!

I am so so so angry!!! Some of you know that I have a possible health issue. It’s a possible issue with a non-cancerous breast lump. If you want the whole story read it here.

To continue the story, I knew that my insurance ran out on my birthday, May 1st. Since that was coming up fast Kevin and I got to work on making sure I was going to be covered all the way through. Now one of the downsides of my current insurance is that it won't cover anything preventative, only specialist/emergency issues while I'm not in the state of NY, which is the insurances origin.

So I call to find out what paperwork I need to deal with in order to transfer myself over to Kevin's insurance on my birthday. I get on the phone with them and they are all of a sudden telling me that they have made a mistake and they need to cut my insurance that day. No grace period, nothing.

So Kevin was wonderful, we scrambled, signed some papers at Google to start the process of getting me on his insurance. The only thing missing is the letter from my old insurance telling me the date that they stopped covering me. This allows the new insurance to retroactively pick me up from that day and I have continuous insurance.

The insurance company promised to fax a copy of the letter I needed. They said it would take them 3 days to get the letter together. After meeting with Google, the HR department asks if the letter can be faxed directly to them. I call back to find out if this is possible. Well the girl I had been talking to has left for the day. Well I just want to change the fax number, so I tell the guy this and he comes back telling me its illegal for them to fax this to me at all. He says he can mail it, or I can have the new insurance agency call them. Kevin and I decide that it will be easier to have it mailed.

That was Monday and I have been checking every day for the letter so I can get things going. I have an eye doctor appointment on Tuesday (I've been wearing the same contacts way longer than I should have) and my third breast exam this year is on March 31st.

I got the letter today. It’s a computer print out that the guy I talked to that day made from his computer screen. It lists my original end date, 05/01/04. It says NOTHING about the fact that they already dropped me from the insurance; it doesn't have the right end date on it, and it does me NO GOOD WHAT-SO-EVER!!!

I'm so angry right now. By the time the mail was delivered today, the insurance company was closed (east coast time). So now I'm stuck, waiting all weekend... further putting off this issue. While I can claim that I have insurance... I really don't and the whole issue is kind of shaky. I think I would be covered by Kevin's insurance - as in the insurance company would wait for everything to go through and then back pay the docs. But I see headaches for me in this situation.

Truly, I got this letter and wanted to cry and scream and stamp my feet. They have reduced me to a child having a tantrum. This whole unknown health issue is stressful enough to me without adding this crap on top of it all.

Anyway, thanks for letting me rant!! I might still go do some screaming or something. The insurance company will at least get an earful on Monday! *sighs*

NOTE: Later in the evening, after I had figured out how to get them to fax me the right letter on Monday, Kevin called me. He went to check his desk at work and a fax had arrived. Apparently the guy who insisted he mail the letter (and got it wrong) never bothered to tell the first girl I had talked to about this. So when she got the letter she faxed it to Kevin anyway. All in one day the insurance company messed things up completely and then fixed it, all without even knowing it. Don't you love with the right hand doesn't know what the left hand is doing!!! End Rant!